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Written by Will
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Thursday, 11 October 2007 |
Growing up, my father and mother had a tough marriage. There were nights where my father wouldn't return home from work. By the time I was 12, my mother had decided to leave and pursue a career as a freelance Zen artist in South Korea. My brother and I were now in custody of my father. After introducing us to several of his girlfriends, one eventually became my step mother. So, it was almost natural for me to want to be the better man and treat women with the utmost care.
As I moved across the suburbs of New Jersey prior to my High School years, I made a lot of girl (space) friends. But never did I have a girl become attracted to me. I was the nice guy. I was sweet and I listened to what they had to say. I would let them talk to me about their endless boy issues, talk about how conceited most guys were, then watch them fall for the same asshole guys over and over again. I never understood it. I thought it was the whole "badass" attitude. But, that wasn't it. You know what attracted them to these guys? The "abundance" attitude.
Into my first relationship, I wanted to be the "perfect" boyfriend ever. I didn't want to lose my "one and only." Within our first month together.. I was going out on romantic late-night walks along the Charles River, talking for hours on end over the phone whenever we were more than a mile apart, putting aside all my new friends for her, missing out on any social get-togethers, taking her out to nice restaurants, buying her flowers, becoming jealous, breaking down whenever she would go out to nightclubs with her friends, and in total summary of it all: being an AFC (average frustrated chump). Rarely were my efforts ever appreciated. Of course they wouldn't. I was being way too generous, way too early.
How did I allow myself to become like this? Why do guys place girls who they barely know on such a high pedestal? Because they're attractive? Because they're beautiful? Because they're unique? Come on now. Unfortunately, only now do I understand the effects of infatuation. I had a scarcity mentality. I had thought that I would never find as beautiful as her. Heck, you don't know if this girl had stole from your good friends. Been the driver of a past hit and run accident. Or how terribly obnoxious and disrespectful she is around her family. Be careful with your judgments. You should never think so highly of people you barely know.
Although the physical attributes of your new eye candy may lure your heart into disbelief of alternative desires.. there are indeed, many other fish in the sea. Don't let nonsense clutter your thoughts. There are many of them, but only one of you. You are the prize!
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